Allie Haze

Allie Haze & Dirty Harry

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Allie Haze

Daddy Issues

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We should be very clear that we have no idea if Allie Haze actually has daddy issues. We have never talked to her about it, and even if we had, not one of us here has any sort of training that would qualify us in the least to approach such a diagnosis. We can say with certainty, however, that Allie Haze plays a character with daddy issues extremely well.

In fairness, the “issue” has historically gone in both directions for centuries, well before that Freud dude got everyone to thinking that sex basically controls everything. So if I want a girl just like the girl that married dear old dad, well, my sister probably wants a boy just like the boy that mom used for a toy — y’know, or something like that.

Actually as groups of people involved in one profession go, the adult industry probably has a whole lot fewer “issues” than most of them, particularly insofar as the discussion pertains to the women performing on camera. At least they don’t tend to bottle up their feelings until something internal runs off the rails and causes some serious psychological trauma. Nope. You put your basic female porn star into any sort of environment at all, and you will likely know exactly how she feels about the situation without even trying too hard.

Of course the male stars would be a completely different subject, but since it has long been our policy to consider them primarily props in the movies, rather than true stars, we happily ignore them. A well-worn story in the office involves someone on set once hearing a very well-known female star discussing one of the top males stars of the day by describing him quite pithily as “a life support system for a penis.” … So while we do don one of the more potentially uncomfortable fetishes for entertainment value today, you can fairly easily skip over that part and get to the rather more traditionally enjoyable ones.

If you really want to get scared, go to a lawyer party some day. EEEK! … Now if Allie wants us to bring her to one at any point, we would still be happy to do so, but we will warn her first: No matter what bizarre, disturbing, or completely outlandish persona anyone has ever asked her to adopt as “Allie Haze” for a film role, meeting actual drunken office people at a “regular” office party will still be potentially terrifying.

Before we close, it simply would not “do” if we failed to acknowledge that despite his ability to play scary sorts of characters, “Harry” happens to be one of the truly good guys in the industry. He has familial ties to quite a few of the various crew and support people, not to mention one performer in actuality, so he was around for years before he ever decided to try the on-camera activities — well, at least on camera. (He probably had sex before when there were no cameras around.) He’s one of the unsung really nice guys in our certainly biased-as-usual opinion. And remember that Harry started back before everyone had little blue pills to make all the plumbing work.

That said, and completely aside from his warm and entertaining personality, it seems like there might not be too many people that would need chemical assistance to “work with” Allie Haze, no matter what part they played in her fantasy. Just remember never to worry too much about what kink turns some people’s cranks (as it were). You won’t figure anything out, and eventually your head will start to hurt.

Bottom line, we’re all just Oedipus wrecks. …

@alliehaze@xxxdirtyharry

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